Ask the Grunts

Month

October 2011

2 posts

I do pity you Grunts, but you are so fun to kill in the games! and yes, I am cat, I am Russian cat with sniper rifle!

Ok first off we don’t want your pity, and guess what? WE DON’T LIKE CATS. Well, I guess Cats are better then humans, so we hate you but not as much as humans. Congrats! 

Oct 17, 20111 note
We are back!

First off, me and my fellow Grunts are sorry for stop writing. Why did we stop posting? Well, you know about that upcoming Halo: Anniversary game? Yea, we had to do some great grunt acting for the game. You’ll see November 15, 2011. Send in your questions we are ready! 

We SORRY! 

Oct 17, 2011

August 2011

38 posts

Aren't some Grunts allies with the Elites and Humans during Halo 3?

Yes, but the Grunt’s who complain about the Master Chief are our brothers who are still with the Covenant. We are very disappointed that we weren’t featured in Halo 3  and we already sued Bungie for that. We did appear in Halo 2, though…

Aug 29, 2011
How was your grunty trip?

Thank you human for asking! It was horrible! I took about 30 Grunts with me to Las Vegas. I had Grunts flying of buildings, gambling all my money, and I had to pick one up in jail. It was like a national lampoon’s vacation. 

Aug 14, 2011
If grunts had armor abilities, how would you mess with your enemies/ allies?

Armor Lock: We Grunts would be walking around just armor locking around the map. It would be a Grunt dance party! Sorry, but you guys are not invited.

Sprint: I’m sorry, but we Grunts could not run fast because of our small legs. Plus seeing a Grunt run fast, is not a thing you want to see.

Invisibility: Imagine your on a 10 kill streak, then you see in the shadows a small figure, but it disappears. You get your 11th kill, and BOOM you just got assassinated by a Grunt. Oh yea, that would be badass.

Jetpack: Your 13, and you want a tattoo. Your mom says “When Grunts fly.” Hang on 13 year old human, this will happen some day!

Barrel Roll: Do a Grunt Barrel Roll!!!!!!

We got back from our trip, why not ask some questions about that? Man, you guys are really rude!

Aug 13, 2011
Sorry Guys

Sorry humans, but I won’t be able to answer any questions until this weekend. Me and my Grunt friends went on a trip, and we finally got time to write this. We will be back on Friday!!!! 

Aug 10, 2011
Are there female grunts? or are you all just males? if so... isnt that awkward...

There are female Grunts, but they look so much alike, and sound so much like a male Grunt. Sometimes i’m wondering if i’m making love to a women, or a male. It’s a male 99% of the time. I need to learn, to look before. It just got awkward up in here! 

Idk if I should put a picture for this, I already made it awkward with the answer. 

Aug 7, 2011
How are you?

I hope this answers your question. Night! Send in your questions, and you get a Grunt lap dance! Trust me, you’ll never forget it.

Aug 7, 2011
do you have any info on halo 4 you know so we can be ready to maybe help you guys kill master chief

YESSSS! Someone finally asked about Halo 4. OK, so 343 told us Grunts to shut the fuk up, but you know what fuk them.

You know that ring he is going into? Well, that’s ‘Grunt Planet.’ So basically that stupid as_ spartan has to try to kill us, and retrieve some plan so he can blow up our planet. This is when you come in, you don’t play as Master Chief, you play has Grunt 118, a special op Grunt. Your main goal, is to STOP Master Chief and save the Grunt race.

This game looks like it’s going to be the best from the Halo series!

Aug 6, 2011
Thirsty?

Yes, I am. I think im going to drink out of my Feeding Tube. Would you like some?

Got my PJ’s on, and i’m watching some good old Halo: Reach videos on YouTube. See you guys in the morning. Keep your questions coming!

Aug 6, 2011
?

Great question! I think you should win the question of the week!

Aug 5, 2011
Do you feel insecure by the master chief's reign of destruction on your people? does it make you feel less, grunty?

No. We Grunts are coming up with a plan to kill Master Chief! Here is the plan:

  1. Get a helicopter.
  2. Go to location of Spartan 117.
  3. Fly above his location.
  4. Drop in “Special Ops” Grunts.
  5. Rest of us wait in a small room listening, and watching him go down.

This plan is bullet proof. 

Aug 5, 2011
nobody likes a living grunt

Nobody likes you! Think about it!

Aug 5, 20112 notes
Where do babies come from?

When a Grunt loves another Grunt, the two grunts call up one of the prophets and boom a Drone will fly the baby Grunt to you.

Aug 5, 20112 notes
Have you heard that there's a grunt and Spartan party over at Halo Custom Edition's "Dance" map? There are more Spartans that joined it, though...

OK, first this must be false! You’ll never see a Grunt dancing with Spartans. Spartans to us, are like that annoying kid who keeps on trying to kill you. 

Image was found on Google! 

Aug 5, 201118 notes
#Halo #Grunts #Spartans #Ask the Grunts #Halo CE #Grunts Dancing #Spartans Dancing
Blue balls ?

Wow, I guess you never saw a Grunts crotch! Type in Google “Grunts Crotch” and there you have it. 

Aug 5, 20112 notes
#Blue Balls #Ask the Grunts #Halo #Reach #Halo 4 #Grunts Crotch
why did you turn ugly? u were so cute back in 2001

Wow, harsh. I have a question for you humans. When did you humans turn ugly? You guys were so cute back in the 1800’s. How does it feel? Yea, it hurts, think twice before posting a question about us grunts being ugly.

Aug 5, 2011
Why not overcharge the plasma pistol

Good questions, i’m glad you asked. Our little Grunt hands can’t hold the plasma pistol when is overcharged. Also if we Grunts could overcharge our pistol, then there would be no Master Chief! 

Aug 5, 20111 note
Do you like the master chief?

(Cute Grunt Yawn) Good Morning, oh wait I have to talk about Master Chief fu__ me. 

Like is such a strong word for us Grunts to say about the Master Chief. How about hate! We hate him sooooo much. Why you ask? Well, he always goes for us Grunts first, we never get a break. Also he just did unspeakable things to my mother. Master Chief better watch out when he is going down a dark ally, he better wish he has the arbiter with him. 

Here is an example of him killing Grunts. Master Chief is like Hitler, to us Grunts. 

Aug 5, 20111 note
Ask the Grunts on Twitter!  → twitter.com

Grunt Party at our Twitter, and your invited! 

Aug 5, 2011
Next page →
2011
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August 38
  • September
  • October 2
  • November
  • December